What Do Ya' Mean Lori Who?
by Anthony Staffenhagen
Summary: Lori Loud wakes up one morning and finds that no one in the Loud house seems to remember who she is, as if she never existed.
1. Lori who!

In Lisa's room in the Loud house, she had been having a fierce argument with her older sister Lucy for the last several hours. They were each defending their stances on which was better, magic or science. The youngest (and best) member of the family, Lily, had had enough of this. So, she climbed out of her crib to join the discussion in an attempt to end it.

Lily: Poo Poo, Poo Poo! Flabby floffee slahee go go.

Lisa: Youngest sibling, is your goal at this moment to bring our altercation to a halt?

Lily: Poo Poo!

Lisa: Well, we can't take you seriously when you're an infant.

Lucy: It's also hard to understand what you're saying.

Lily was offended and rolled her eyes. She rarely did what she was about to do, but she needed to right now.

Lily: Ranpu!

Having said the magic word, Lily transformed into her other form, which made her look like an older kid and gave her the ability to speak complete English. She still wore diapers while in this form though.

Lily: What I said was it doesn't matter which is better between magic and science because art is better than both of them combined!

Lucy: Even if that were true, what difference would it make?

Lily: Oh, it makes a difference.

Lisa: That doesn't answer her question.

Now all three of them were debating and the argument was even more intensive than before.

In the hallway, the argument could be somewhat heard despite the door to Lisa & Lily's room being closed.

Lincoln stepped out of his room as his mom came out of the twins' room with a basket full of laundry.

Lincoln: Mom, do we have any luggage I could use?

Out of frustration, Rita dropped the laundry basket and turned towards her son with an angry glare.

Rita: Lincoln, you're 14. Be more mature when your sisters start to annoy you. Packing up and leaving is...

Lincoln: Whoa, Mom, stop. That's not why I'm leaving.

Rita: Oh. Sorry about that then.

Rita picked the laundry basket back up as she asked Lincoln what he actually wanted the luggage for.

Lincoln: Anthony told me I had to give the Specials some huge surprise tomorrow and that I'm gonna want to stay at their house for a few days.

Rita: Okay. Lori was the last one to use the luggage when she and Bobby went on that ski trip.

Lincoln thanked his mom for her help as he walked away from her. Rita pounded on Lisa and Lily's bedroom door with her fist and then screamed at them to settle down.

Lincoln went into Lori and Leni's room and saw each of them on their beds. Lori was obsessively staring at her phone and Leni was watching her boyfriend George play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Leni had a hard time understanding the game because there were 8 characters moving around really fast. But she could tell George was enjoying it, so that made her happy.

Lincoln: Lori, do you know where the luggage you used for your ski trip is? I need to use it.

When George heard this, he quickly paused the game, dropped his Switch, and jumped out of the bed.

George: Are you moving out?!

Lincoln: What? No.

George: 'Cause if you are, I would LOVE to help you pack.

Lincoln: I just said I'm not moving. Why do you want me to anyway?

George: I never said I wanted you to move. But since you brought up the subject I have not been thinking about AT ALL, let's keep talking about it. I, and this is just off the top of my head right this very instant, think it would be great. I could move in here and share this room with Leni and Lori can take your room.

This was what it took to gain Lori's attention away from her screen.

Lori: Wait. What?

Lincoln: Don't worry about it, Lori. Where's the luggage?

Lori: It's a little weird you bring that up out of the blue, but it's on the top shelf in the closet. Leni, will you help him get it?

Leni: No problem.

Leni walked over to the closet and when she opened it, Lillie, the Loud siblings' niece from the future, fell out of it onto her face.

Leni: Lillie!

Leni helped her niece of about the same age up off the ground and saw the lack of emotion in her face.

Leni: Are you okay?

Lillie: I guess.

Lori: What were you doing in the closet?

Lillie: The fact nothing interesting has happened in forever made me so bored that I thought I'd see if sitting in a closet and doing nothing is more exciting than it sounds. It isn't.

Lincoln: If you're bored, you can come with me to the Specials' house if you want.

Lillie: Thanks, but I get the feeling Anthony wants you to do that on your own.

George: Would my switching rooms idea entertain you?

Lillie: Barely. What I really need is something to **do**.

Leni: Weren't you supposed to be stopping your mom from turning evil?

Lillie: Yeah, I keep waiting for her to do something bad, but she won't. Since that was why I'm in this time period, maybe it's time for me to go back to the future.

Lillie was expecting and hoping that the others would tell her to stay. But instead, they had no reaction at all and the room went dead silent.

Lillie: Well, nice to hear you guys would all miss me.

Lincoln: Sorry. We just didn't expect you to say that.

Lillie: It's okay. I. Don't. Care!

Lillie grabbed a suitcase from the closet and tossed it at her uncle, which flung him into the hallway as Lynn Sr. was walking by.

Lynn: Hey, son. What are you doing on the floor?

Lincoln: This is the latest trend. All the kids are doing it. Get with the times, Dad.

Lynn could tell his son was being facetious, so he helped him up to his feet.

Lynn: Is that suitcase for when we go to E4?

Lincoln: You mean E3?

Lynn: I thought last year's was 3.

Lincoln: It was.

Lynn: So then shouldn't it be 4 this year?

Luan overheard this from her room and chuckled at how it sounded like he said "before." Lincoln also chuckled at his dad for having a mildly amusing misconception.

Lincoln: The 3 doesn't mean it's the third one. That's just what it's called. But thanks for mentioning it, 'cause you just gave me a great idea.

Lincoln turned around to look at his niece.

Lincoln: Hey Lillie, I'm sure coming with us to E3 will cure your boredom.

Lillie: No thanks. All of the games they'll have there are really old to me.

* * *

The next morning, Lincoln was all packed up and left after saying good bye to everybody. This would be the first time Lillie ever had her and Lincoln's bedroom to herself and she was wondering what that would be like. She loved sharing a room with him but she really wanted to know what a night in it alone would be like now that it was happening.

However, when she was ready to go to bed, she found Leni and George occupying the top and bottom of her and Lincoln's bunk bed and they were both asleep. After realizing and accepting the fact that she wouldn't get to sleep there that night, she got her pajamas out of the dresser and walked over to the bathroom. She had to wait in line because several other people also had to use it. Once it was her turn, she got changed as quickly as she could and then walked over to Lori's room and stepped inside.

Lillie: Aunt Lori, can I sleep in here tonight? Aunt Leni and George stole my room.

Lori was already laying down in bed. She wasn't even using her phone, which was a rare sight to see. She didn't feel like getting up or talking, so she shrugged her shoulders to get across that she didn't care if Lillie slept there.

Lillie: Thanks. This is perfect. Aunt Leni took my bed and now I'm taking hers. Although, she was in the bottom bunk, so she technically took Uncle Lincoln's bed, but close enough.

Lillie laid down in the empty bed and found it to be much more comfortable than the one she usually slept in.

Lillie: Wow. Maybe me and her should trade rooms. So, what do you wanna talk about?

Lori: Talk about? I don't wanna talk about anything. I wanna go to sleep.

Lillie: You and Aunt Leni don't have little casual conversations every night like me and Uncle Lincoln do?

Lori: No.

Lillie: Okay, but uhhh...Can we have just a quick one?

Lori: Are you not gonna shut up and leave me alone unless we do?

Lillie: Oh, you bet!

Lori: Then get it over with.

Lillie: Okay. How come when a person sucks at dancing, people only ever say they have two left feet? Two right feet would be just as problematic. There was another figure of speech I noticed something similar about, but I can't remember what it was. Something about dreams, I think. You wanna try to help me remember?

Lillie expected a response from her temporary roommate, but she didn't get one. She asked Lori if she was awake and still went ignored. Then she thought maybe she could get Lori to talk to her if she changed the subject.

Lillie: Hey, what's your favorite Digimon?

Lori: I don't have one.

Lillie: That's the only acceptable answer. So, last thing I'm gonna say, then I'll go to sleep. If I got amnesia, do you think I'd believe you when you told me I'm from the future?

Lori: I don't know. I don't know how amnesia works.

Lillie: Yeah, but if you had to guess...

Lillie was suddenly hit in the face by a pillow that Lori threw at her. Getting the message, she turned to her side and shut her eyes.

* * *

The next morning, Lori woke up and stretched her arms as she got out of bed. When she turned to look at Lillie, she didn't notice the confused expression on her face.

Lori: Morning, Lillie. Sorry about being rude last night. I literally don't know what made me so cranky.

Lillie: ...And you are?

Lori: Ha ha. Very funny.

Lillie: What? What's funny about that? How could that possibly be funny, whoever you are?

Lori: I was being sarcastic. Last night, you said something about having amnesia, so now you're pretending you do to try to freak me out.

Lillie: How do you know that? Did you sneak into our house in the middle of the night?!

Lori: You can stop now. I know you're faking. You're literally not even doing it right. A person with amnesia wouldn't remember where they live.

Lillie: What's all this talk about amnesia? Are you someone I should know and I've forgotten you?

Lori: It's me, Lori.

Lillie: Lori who?

Lori: Lori Loud!

Lillie: Really? I'd never thought I'd see another family with that last name, or are you a cousin or a...?

Lori: I'm the oldest sister.

Lillie: No you're not. That's not possible because that would make it 10 sisters. Haven't you ever heard the song? They're clearly saying "one boy, nine girls," not "one boy, ten girls."

Lori: Oh yeah? If I don't live here, then who's bed is this?

Lillie: It's nobody's. We keep it here despite the fact we never use it and nobody knows why.

Lori began to laugh at how devoted Lillie was to keeping this prank going as Luan walked into the room. Luan was holding a light blue toothbrush and looking at it as if it was the most mysterious object she had ever seen.

Luan: Lillie, do you know where this blue toothbrush came from?

Lori: I should've known you'd be in on this. Should probably be cautious with my eyebrows now.

Luan: ...Your eyebrows?

Lori: You two really should've talked this over before you started the prank. What Lillie said about my bed doesn't match what Luan said about my toothbrush.

Luan: ...Lillie, who is this?

Lillie: She claims to be your sister.

This information creeped Luan out, causing her to take a step back. She then ran over to Lillie so she could whisper to her.

Luan: She's probably either an insane fan or someone trying to get on the news because they're desperate for attention.

Lillie: Ooh, I'll bet you're right.

Luan: Maybe if we just act nonchalant and pretend she isn't here, she'll go away.

Lillie: That only sounds like it would make her want to stay, but let's give it a whirl.

Sick of this, Lori rolled her eyes and went to Lincoln's room.

Lori: Leni, get a load of what Luan and Lil...

Leni: AAAHH! STRANGER!

Leni ran out of the room screaming, crashed into walls a few times, and then fell down the stairs.

Luan: Just wanna say that I wouldn't have fallen down the stairs.

Lillie: I'd say you don't have to brag, but you do.

Lori: They talked Leni into it too? How did they ever...?

Lori was cut off by George suddenly grabbing onto her.

Lori: What are you doing?

George: Protecting my girlfriend!

Lori: By holding onto me?

George: I'm trying to do that thing where I bend backwards and slam you into the ground, but it's surprisingly difficult to bend backwards. I'm no gymnasium, but still.

Lori: A gymnasium is a place, not a person.

George: Oh, right. I meant...

Lori elbowed George in the stomach, causing him to fall backwards.

George: Oh, _now_ I can go backwards?

Lori spent the rest of the day hoping that someone would say they knew who she was, but no one in the house did. As the day went on, she got more and more frustrated at the fact no one would stop pretending she wasn't a member of the family.

Lucy: She's a ghost. What else could she be?

Lisa: She's simply a hallucination that we are all somehow experiencing simultaneously.

Lily: She's someone's imaginary friend who got lost.

Rita: At least they're arguing about something else now.

At dinner time, Lori came into the dining room and was surprised to see everyone else already eating. She also noticed that there was no plate set out for her. This instantly filled her with rage and she stomped her foot.

Lori: That's it! If you're all gonna pretend I'm a stranger for some reason, the least you could do is feed me!

Lynn Sr.: Sorry. I would've but I don't know what you like to eat.

Lori: Yes you do! You're my dad!

Lillie: There are plenty of dads who don't know what foods their kids like.

Lori: Shut it, not a Loud!

Lillie: You're the one who's not a Loud. Loud is my middle name. That's close enough. It's not any of your names.

Lori: I told you to shut it! Now you had all better stop this stupid prank right this instant or I'm literally gonna turn you all into living garlic knots!

Lana: What?! What does that even mean?

Luan: I think she means she's gonna twist our bodies around and put 'em in knots.

Lana: Whoa. That sounds cool. Who wants to let her do it to them?

Rita: No one. Lynn, go call the police.

Lynn Sr.: I've been wanting to all day.

Lori: The police?! No! Yelling at your family when they deserve it is not illegal. Not giving your kids dinner is illegal!

Rita: Lynn, get her.

Lynn Jr.: I've been wanting to all day.

Lynn jumped towards Lori, tackled her, and body slammed her in the face, knocking her unconscious.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Confused Little Boi

When Lincoln returned home, he ran inside and shouted about how he had fantastic news. He called for everyone to gather in the living room so he could tell them. Everyone in the house came to listen to what he had to say, but he noticed someone was missing.

Lincoln: Where's...?

Lillie jumped towards her uncle and put her hand over his mouth. She asked him if she could speak to him privately, which he thought was odd. Once he reluctantly agreed, Lillie took him to their room.

Lillie: You'll never guess the crazy thing that happened while you were gone. Some crazy person named Lori snuck into the house and claimed to be your sister.

Lincoln didn't understand why she worded that sentence like that. Why didn't she just say that someone claimed to be Lori?

Lincoln: So where's Lori now?

Lillie: We sent her to prison.

Lincoln: WHAT?! What for?

Lillie: Duh! For sneaking into the house. Use your ears, Uncle Lincoln.

Lincoln was left speechless from confusion. He asked Lillie to leave so that he could be alone. _"This has gotta be the wrong universe."_ he thought to himself. All he knew was that he had to start saving money to bail out his oldest sister.

Leni: But I'm not in jail.

You're not his oldest sister.

Leni: I'm not?

Anyway, it took him two months to get enough money. During that time, he figured out by listening to his friends and relatives that he was the only one who could remember Lori. And unlike being the only one who remembers The Beatles, nothing good came out of this.

Once he was ready to give Lori her freedom, Lincoln asked Luna if she would drive him to Gus's Games and Grub. He couldn't say he wanted a ride to prison.

After Luna dropped him off, he made the rest of the way to the jail on foot. When he told the officers he was there to bail out Lori Loud, they informed him that there was no one with that name there.

There was, but she was already bailed out by her brother two months ago.


	3. A Weak Explanation?

The cops informed Lincoln that the woman he was trying to find lived in the same apartment building as Ronnie Anne, so he went there to see what the spec was going on. When he ran into Ronnie Anne's living room, Lori was on the couch and was prepared to hear him say what she wouldn't want him to.

Lincoln: Lori, you're probably gonna be surprised to hear this, but I remember who you are.

Lori: Wait. Did you just call me Lori, not Rebecca?

Lincoln: Why would I call you Rebecca?

Lori: Because...don't you think I'm Ronnie Anne's sister?

Lincoln: No. Ronnie Anne doesn't have one. You're **my** sister. You're Lori Loud.

Lori ran over to her brother and hugged him.

Lori: I never thought I'd be so happy to simply hear a person say my name, but I am SO HAPPY YOU SAID MY NAME! So, does everybody in our family remember me now?

Lincoln: Sorry, but it's just me, I'm afraid.

Lori: I'll take what I can get.

Lincoln: Now, what's this about you being Ronnie Anne's sister?

Lori: I would like an answer to that question just as much as you do.

Lori let go of Lincoln and began to fill him in on what happened.

Lori: After I got arrested, I used my one phone call to call Bobby. After him and his mom bailed me out, I started kissing him...

Lincoln: Of course. He's your boyfriend and he's hot.

Lori: But then his mom says, and I'll never forget the way she said it, "Rebecca, what the heck are you doing?! Stop kissing your brother!"

Lincoln: ...What?

Lori: Exactly!

Lincoln: So you've just been living _here_ the past two months?

Lori: Sadly, yes. You have no idea how torturous it's been to be with Bobby so much but not be able to do anything we used to do together because he thinks he's my brother.

Lincoln: Oh. It's funny you say that because I once read a The Loud House fanfiction that was about you...

Lori: NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!

Lincoln: Right, sorry. You wouldn't want to know about it anyway.

Ronnie Anne and her best friend Sid walked in.

Ronnie Anne: We're ready to go.

Lori: ...Go where?

Sid: To _A Sew Subject_.

Lori looked at them with a raised eyebrow.

Ronnie Anne: The musical.

Lori: I literally don't know what you're talking about.

Sid: You promised you'd take me to it like a year ago.

Lori: If the musical was last year, why are you talking about it now?

Lincoln: She means you made the promise a year ago. But that doesn't make any sense because Ronnie Anne only met Sid...a lot more recently than last year. I guess we just found another thing that mysteriously changed.

Lori: Oh, tell me about it. When I first got here after being in jail, Sid here said "Hey" to me and I was just like "I've literally never seen you before in my life. Am I the one who's forgetting people now?"

Ronnie Anne and Sid would've said something about this, but at this point, they were used to Rebecca talking crazy.

Lori: Lincoln, you go home and see if you can figure out what caused all this. I'd come with you, but I have to go to the theater apparently.

* * *

When he got home, Lincoln began to suspect that someone had used Lillie's DeLorean to change some event in the past. He inspected the DeLorean's time circuits and discovered that the last time departed was December 25th, 1999.

Lincoln: Christmas Day when Lori was a baby? Why would someone use the time machine to go there...err, then?

After thinking about it for a while, Lincoln hypothesized that someone used the time machine to kidnap baby Lori and give her to Ronnie Anne and Bobby's parents. This seemed plausible to him, but there were still some flaws he noticed. How would him and Lori remember the original timeline? Why didn't his parents ever mention the fact they _used_ to have a daughter named Lori? What kind of sicko would do something so horrible? Why am I asking _you_ all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you?!

Lincoln decided he'd go back in time to Christmas '99 to see what happened and worry about figuring out the rest later (if he ended up needing to). He was too young to drive, let alone fly, a car, so he would have to ask someone else to go back in time with him. But he didn't want to have to explain why he was using the time machine, so he made the judgement call to drive it really carefully. Kids, don't listen to Lincoln.

* * *

Once in 1999, he parked the DeLorean (I just realized there's an accidental "Lori" pun in that.) in his front yard, right next to another one. He stepped outside and waited for the driver of the other time machine to exit as well.

Once that driver did, Lincoln was shocked to see that it was Lillie.

Lincoln: Lillie, you had better not be here to do what I think you're here for!

Lillie: And what would that be?

Lincoln: You weren't gonna take Aunt Lori away and leave her on the Santiagos' doorstep, were you?

Lillie: WHAT?! You accuse me of kidnapping?! Have you lost your mind?! I just came here to see if apples taste the same in 1999 as they do in 2019. I realize I didn't have to come to Christmas to do that, but...Christmas is awesome.

Lincoln: ...But...if your time travel shenanigans didn't make everything change...what did?

Lillie: ...I could tell you.

Lincoln: What?! How do you know?

Lillie: Let me answer your first question first and then you'll know how I know. The reason everybody forgot who Aunt Lori is and she was transferred to another family is because...Anthony wanted to write a story about that happening.

Lincoln: ...What?

Lillie: Anthony came up with that idea, and he wanted to do it, so he did.

Lincoln: But he can't just make something impossible like that happen. There needs to be something that caused it.

Lillie: No there doesn't. Each and every one of us is nothing more than Anthony's imagination. He can make anything he wants happen because fictional universes like the one we're a part of don't have to follow the rules of real life. They can be whatever rules the creator thinks up, even if they don't make the teeniest tiniest bit of sense. Just like how a cartoon character can get hit by an anvil then be completely unharmed a second later, our world can have some ridiculous thing happen for absolutely no reason other than because Anthony thought it would be interesting.

Lincoln: ...Okay, I'm dreaming.

Lillie: No, you're not. And as soon as this is over, everything will go back to the way it was and none of this will ever be mentioned ever again.

The sound of something falling from the sky caught the attention of both of them.

Lillie: ...Huh. Nobody ever told me a meteor hit the Earth on Christmas '99. Sounds like something that would be interesting enough to share. But then again, Anthony didn't share any of the stories he thought were interesting between 2013 and 2017 because he was lazy.

The meteor kept getting closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer. It eventually became clear that it wasn't a meteor at all. It was a gigantic red boot.

* * *

Lincoln woke up surrounded by nothing but darkness and a metal box on a pole with two buttons and an envelope on it. One of the buttons was orange and to the right of it was a bright green one.

Having nothing else to do, he walked over to the buttons and read the letter that was inside the envelope.

Lincoln: "Dear Lincoln, that boot caused an explosion that was so big, it destroyed the Y universe, the X universe, and the Special universe. You are all that is left of any of them. Push the orange button, and everything will go back to the way it was and continue on like normal. Push the green button, and you will be destroyed as well. From Anthony."

**Ending Explained: I realized today that I don't like writing anymore. I love creating characters, worlds, and stories, but I hate taking the time to get it all written down. As much as I would like people to see all the ideas for stories I have, it doesn't feel worth the effort anymore. What would make it worth the effort is knowing that I'm entertaining people. So, if there's anyone reading this who likes my stories and wants more of them (even if you like them in a "so bad, it's good" way), please let me know. I'm going to write one more chapter of this. If people want me to continue, Lincoln will push the orange button. If not, the green one will be pushed.**


	4. GO FOR THE GREEN!

**I don't know why this got so popular, but thank you for all the views and comments. This is the first time one of my fics got 1000 views. That's a lot more than my fic that's in 2nd place for most views (645).**

Without even thinking about it, Lincoln pushed the orange button. As he talked to himself about it, the world began to reappear around him.

Lincoln: What in the actual heck was going through Anthony's head? I'm obviously gonna hit the orange button. What made him think I would even consider pushing the green one?

* * *

Lincoln awoke in his bed the day after he traveled to the past from.

Lincoln: ...So...Was that all a dream?

Lillie poked her head down from the top bunk.

Lillie: You mean when you came across me in 1999? That was no dream.

Lincoln: What about the part where you started tap dancing while Jack Black sang _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_ but to the tune of the Henry Danger theme song?

Lillie: I don't remember that happening, so that must've been a dream. Also, what is it with us and talking about Henry Danger when we wake up in the morning?

Ignoring his niece, Lincoln left the room because he wanted to see Lori back in the family. But as he was walking through the hallway, he spotted a family picture on the wall by the stairs. It had him, his parents, and only 9 of his sisters. As Lincoln took the picture down and analyzed it, Lillie walked up to him.

Lincoln: What? No, this can't be! Anthony said pushing the orange button would make everything go back to the way it was.

Lillie: Technically, this is the way things were.

Lincoln: So you remember Lori now?

Lillie: No. I just know who you said she is and I'm taking your word for it.

Lincoln: Well, I guess I gotta get back to figuring out what happened.

Lillie: I already told ya'. It was all just because Anthony wanted it to happen. There is no in-universe explanation.

Lincoln: No. That ending was so unsatisfactory that people couldn't even tell it was supposed to be an ending.

Lillie: It's still true though. Aunt Lana was home on that day you were gone even though she's been in the X universe since April Fool's Day. You wanna know why she was home? It was for no other reason than because Anthony somehow missed that massively obvious continuity error. Also, that's not why people couldn't tell it was an ending. It was because Anthony's so monumentally horrible at explaining things, he may as well be reviewing a movie that's not in his language that he watched with his eyes closed.

Ignoring her again, Lincoln went back to his room and got his phone off the dresser as Lillie followed him in. He used it to call Lori to see how things were going for her.

Lori: Hey, Lincoln. The musical last night was surprisingly good. In fact, we're going to another one tonight after we stop by the zoo Sid's mom works at. I think it's called _Go For The Green_.

Lincoln: Umm...Don't you think there's something else more important we should be talking about instead?

Lori: Like what?

Lincoln: "Like what?" How 'bout that whole "nobody remembers who you really are" thing?

Lori: Oh, thaaaaaaat. Yeah, I'm over it.

Lincoln: WHAT?! What are you talking about?

Lori: I've decided to just embrace my new life. Never call me Lori Loud ever again. I'm Rebecca Santiago now.

Lincoln: Okay, stop joking. This is a very...

Lori: Don't try to change things back to the way they were. Bye.

Lincoln: But what about Bob...?

Lori: I said "BYE!"

Lori hung up and Lincoln dropped his phone in shock.

Lillie: Ha ha. You said "What about Bob?," which is the title of some movie I know nothing about.

Lincoln: She says she wants to stay being Rebecca now. She's lost it!

Lillie: Nope. I know this isn't a movie, but she's just doing something movie characters often do. They either hate or don't care about some major change to their life, but they grow to like it and prefer it over their old life by the end. Take Madagascar 3 for example. Instead of staying with Alex's parents or going back to the zoo they've lived at their whole life, they choose to stay at the circus? No one in real life would do that.

Lincoln: Lori just did it.

Lillie: I said no one in REAL life would do it.

Lincoln: Whatever. Now's not the time to be criticizing movies.

Lillie: Can we criticize The Loud House episodes? 'Cause I've got quite a few things to say about Snow Way Out.

Lincoln: Maybe in December. Right now, I've gotta go to the zoo and slap some sense into Lori.

Lillie: Who _IS_ this Lori person?

* * *

Lincoln went to the Pokémon zoo Lori told him she was going to and looked around for her for hours. He began to get suspicious that she lied to him about being there. As he was starting to lose his patience, Izzy from Total DramaRama in a janitor suit walked past him while sweeping.

Izzy: Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes.

Lincoln's eyes got wide and suddenly Lori wasn't on his mind anymore when he heard this girl he didn't know say this.

Lincoln: Uh, hey, look. I don't really enjoy being with girls- That way...But, um, zoo dollars?

Izzy: It's about your sister. She's an alien.

Lincoln heard the sound of people cheering, which confused him. Why would that be the sound effect when he received bad news? It's because in the Friends episode I'm doing a tribute to, the sound effect that played didn't match the good news that Ross gets.

Lincoln: Oh, I see.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**I changed my mind about this being the last chapter.**


	5. Chocolate Milk is DELICIOUS!

Usually, Lincoln wouldn't follow someone he didn't know into a room where they could be alone with him. He was smarter than that. But Izzy's claim that Lori was an alien intrigued him, so, against his better judgement, he followed her into the nocturnal house 15 minutes later. He figured since Izzy was just a little kid, there wouldn't be much she could do to him if this was all a trick. Man, if only he had seen her show.

When Lincoln got in there, he saw Izzy was the only other human there and she was staring intensely at one of the Pokémon.

Izzy: Ah, Zubat. Ambassador of darkness. Flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger. Sightless specter of the macabre.

Lincoln: ...Little girl, my sister?

Izzy: Oh, yeah, right. There was an invasion. A few months back. My friend Harold told me that aliens go up people's noses and drive them around like go-karts. They must've landed their spaceship at your friend's apartment and wanted your sister too.

Lincoln: But Lori didn't say there were any aliens there.

Izzy: *scoff* Lori. You believe everything _Lori_ tells you?

Lincoln: ...If I shouldn't trust a member of my family, why should I trust some random person I just met?

Izzy: Of course the aliens aren't gonna say they're there. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?

Lincoln: I don't even know what you're talking about.

Izzy: Hhm.

Izzy turned her attention from Lincoln over to another Pokémon.

Izzy: Ah, hello, Mr. Malamar. Not enigma of the sea, upside-down denizen of the night. Taunting people who don't wanna turn their 3DS around...

Lincoln: Kid, my sister? My sister?

Izzy: Word on the street...Well, when I say "street," I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo.

Lincoln: Of course.

Izzy: ...That musical your sister went to was actually a private alien meeting where they discussed how they plan to take over the world. That's all I know. Well, it's all I know about this topic. There's plenty of other things I know. My name, what days I go to the daycare, what year it is, the color of my hair, among other things.

Lincoln: Whoever you are, you're insane.

Izzy: No, I'm in the nocturnal house.

Lincoln: Unless you tell me how you found this out, I have no reason to believe you. Except...At this point, I have to believe anything I'm told. Lori being an alien is just as good an explanation to what's going on as anything else would be.

Izzy: So...What is this information worth to you, my friend?

Lincoln: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?

Izzy: Maybe.

Lincoln: But you already told me everything.

* * *

Izzy put on the police helmet she wore in that one episode and took the bus to Ronnie Anne's apartment. She made "Wee Woo" noises the whole way there, which annoyed most of the other passengers.

When she arrived, she ran up to the building with her hand in the shape of a gun and kicked the door down. How was a little kid able to kick down a door? Because Izzy is a cartoon character. That's how. She came across Ronnie Anne, Bobby, their mom whose name I think is Maria, Lori, and Sid.

Izzy: Alright! I know you're all a bunch of aliens. Now you let these people go! I am taking you on all by myself because the downsides to not having help mean nothing to me.

A cage fell down from the ceiling, trapping Izzy inside.

Izzy: This isn't a downside to not having help. This still could've happened if there was other good guys here. So, how long do I have to stay in here before you let me go?

Lori: Forever. We can't risk anyone finding out our secret.

Bobby: So, as soon as we can, we're sending you to the North Pole.

Izzy: Well that's not very smart. Once I'm there, I can tell Santa to put you all on the naughty list and he'll help me beat you.

Ronnie Anne: Yeah, they say Santa always knows what everybody does. So, since he hasn't already done anything about us, either that's not true, he's not real, or he just doesn't care.

Izzy: Oh. Okay. I need to find somebody else to ask for Christmas presents from then. Any of you up for it?

Sid's parents and sister walked in and were surprised by the unexpected sight.

Sid's mom: Why is there a little girl in a cage in here?

Sid's dad: Why is there a little girl in a cage at all, for that matter?

Izzy: I'm in here by choice.

* * *

Izzy was woken up that night by the sound of Sid unlocking the cage.

Izzy: Huh? You're letting me out? But I thought you were one of them.

Sid: I was only pretending to be. Let me see if I have this right. You thought some aliens had taken over the bodies of me and the others, right?

Izzy: Yeah. That.

Sid: Well, you were close. It wasn't aliens, it was ghosts. And, as you know, I was only pretending to be on their side.

Sid quickly did something on her phone.

Sid: I just texted my friend's friend, telling him that I need to talk to him. I'm gonna give more details on this whole ghost thing to you and him at the same time so I don't have to do any repeating.

Izzy: Good for you! Repeating is evil.

Sid noticed that Lincoln had sent her a video chat request, which she accepted. The volume on her phone was all the way down so it wouldn't wake anyone up. This resulted in her not hearing the first few words Lincoln said as she turned it back up.

Lincoln: ...portant that you had to text me in the middle of the night? I don't even know you. And...is that the girl I met at the zoo in a cage?

Izzy: Hola!

Sid: You know you can get out of the cage now, right?

Izzy: I know. But it's actually quite comfy once you get used to it. And kid in orange, how come you just went home after I told you your sister is an alien? Don't you care about the fact that your sister is an alien?!

Lincoln: I went home to research what I would need to do to save her. Now unless one of you knows how, I don't wanna...

Sid: Lori is no alien! And luckily for you, I know something that will make you understand what's been happening.

Lincoln: You have my attention.

Sid: It all started a few months ago when I began to notice Ronnie Anne, Bobby, and their mom acting strange. Once I figured out that them being possessed by ghosts was the only logical explanation, I lied to them and said I was possessed too to get them to confess. They said they had one more friend who wanted to be in a blonde's body, so they used their mystic other-worldly powers to alter everyone's memory of who Lori is so they could take her and no one would question why she wasn't at home.

Izzy: But your mom is blonde. Why didn't the ghost just take her body?

Sid: That's what I said. She said it was something about my mom's eyes being too wide or something. Or that she was too tall. I don't know.

Lincoln: If Lori's been possessed, why was she still acting like herself up until this morning?

Sid: The ghosts thought her reactions were funny and didn't want to take her body yet. But they got over it during _A Sew Subject_ last night. So you are gonna get your patootie down here and help me fight them!

Lincoln: Uhh...Okay. I'm not sure I believe you. As far as I know, you're just crazy. But I'll be there first thing in the morning.

Sid: No. You will be here in the average amount of time it takes to go from your house to here because you are leaving RIGHT NOW!

Lincoln: Whoa! What's with the...yelling at me?

Sid: Sorry. It's just been months since my bestie's body started getting used by someone else without her permission and I don't wanna have to wait to get it back for her any longer!

Lincoln: Well, when you put it like that...I'll be over as soon as I can.

Sid: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Lincoln: But just one quick question. Why did you wait so long to do something about this?

Sid: Because I wanted a team of 4 so the ghosts wouldn't outnumber me. I would've told someone else, but I was too afraid to find out how they would react.

Lincoln: Yeah, sounds like I would do the same. See you soon.

Lincoln and Sid both ended the video chat and put their phones away.

Sid: Alright Izzy, here's the plan. We're each gonna fight one of the ghosts once Ronnie Anne's friend, I think his name is Lucas, gets here. If we beat them up, that should make the ghosts come out. Which one do you want?

Izzy: Isn't one of them a grown-up?

Sid: Yeah.

Izzy: Fighting a grown-up sounds like a terrible idea.

Sid: So you wanna fight her?

Izzy: Yes. A lot.

Sid: Then it's settled. You're gonna beat up the fully grown adult, I'm gonna beat up my bestie, Lucas is gonna beat up his sister, and Biscuit is gonna beat up Bobby. Ooh. Accidental alliteration. I love when that happens.

Izzy: A piece of food is helping us? Most people wouldn't even think to give them a chance. That's so nice of you.

Sid: Biscuit is my Pokémon. It's a semi-interesting story how I caught him. I'll have to tell you some time.

Izzy: What kind of Pokémon is he? 'Cause if he's one of those Ghost ones, how do we know he's not gonna betray us?

Sid: He's a Pikipek. He's a Normal type, so he's immune to anything the ghosts can do to him. But since being Normal is what gives the immunity, you're gonna have to be a lot more careful.

Izzy: Ooooooooh! You know what we should do? While we wait for Lucas to get here, we should go buy a bunch-a vacuums!

Sid: Why?

Izzy: Ghosts are scared of vacuums.

Sid: They are?

Izzy: You didn't know that? Isn't there some movie from the 80's that made it a well-known fact?

Sid: If there is, I've never heard of it. Although, now that I think about it, it does sound familiar. Are you sure it wasn't more recent like 2016 or so?

* * *

A little bit later, Sid, Izzy, and Biscuit were standing guard at the bedrooms of the people they were gonna try to get the ghosts out of. Lincoln still hadn't arrived. Ronnie Anne's door was wide open and Sid couldn't stop looking in.

Sid (thinking): Look at him. He thinks he can just sleep in Ronnie Anne's bed in Ronnie Anne's body. It is almost 2020! People have rights! And sure, ghosts have a lot more rights than they used to too, but possessing people who don't consent to it isn't one of them. Man, if only Lucas wasn't such a Slowpoke. We could be done already.

Sid took one final long stare into Ronnie Anne's room. She began to think about all the memories they had made since she moved in. Then she realized that Ronnie Anne had missed out on a few months worth of them because of this stupid ghost.

Sid (thinking): You know what? Forget waiting for Lucas. I'm getting my bestie back NOW!

Sid ran into her friend's room, jumped on the edge of the bed and high up into the air.

Sid: **SUPER SLAM FLYING ATTACK!**

Sid slammed her knees into Ronnie Anne's stomach, waking her up instantly.

Ronnie Anne: Sid?! What the he...?

Sid: You're seriously gonna pretend you're human, Ghosty McGhostface?! I know you know I know you're a ghost!

Ronnie Anne: Have you lost your...?

Sid did a suplex (I learned what that's called!), sending Ronnie Anne to the floor. She then jumped on her and started punching her in the face repeatedly.

Sid: I can't believe I hung out with you stupid ghosts the past few months. I am not on your side and I never was!

Sid stopped attacking after one final kick. She stood up and expected to see the ghost leave Ronnie Anne's body. Instead, all that happened was her now bruise-covered friend's head fell to the side as she shut her eyes.

After thinking about it for a moment, Sid came to a conclusion to why she couldn't see the ghost.

Sid: What do ya' know? The ghost is invisible. In hindsight, maybe I should've expected that.

Sid suddenly heard the sound of someone laughing. When she turned around to where the sound was coming from, she caught sight of the ghost that had taken Ronnie Anne's body.

Ghosty McGhostface: Kid, I was up there by the ceiling the whole time.

Sid: ...What?

Ghosty McGhostface: You know how some people don't wear underwear when they sleep? Getting out of the human body you stole at bedtime is the ghost equivalent to that.

Sid: ...So...I just...

Ghosty McGhostface: You just beat up your best friend for nothing!

Sid: ...I...Uhh...So I should better...Uhhh, Izzy! Can you bring in one of those vacuums we bought?!

Ghosty McGhostface: I ain't afraid of no vacuums! And since my human body is damaged now, thanks to you, I'm gonna need a new one. And since you made the idiotic decision of revealing you were never a ghost when you had no reason to, I know that there's a vacant body right in front of me.

Sid screamed in fear as Ghosty McGhostface zoomed towards her.

**The Next Chapter's The Last One**


	6. Lincoln's Modern Life

Instead of going into Sid's body, Ghosty McGhostface phased right through it.

Ghosty McGhostface: What? Wha...? Why couldn't I...?

When Ghosty McGhostface looked up, he discovered that Sid was gone. She was in the hallway, trying to be quiet so she wouldn't wake anybody up. She was failing at that because the situation was making her extremely tense.

Sid: Izzy! Biscuit! New plan! We gotta find somewhere to hide!

Ghosty McGhostface went through the wall and pursued Sid.

Ghosty McGhostface: Your body is mine!

Sid: AAAHH! Biscuit, use Teleport!

Sid grabbed Izzy and Biscuit grabbed her as he used the move. They all vanished, leaving Ghosty McGhostface dumbfounded.

Ghosty McGhostface: What the? Where did they go? Also, **how** did they go? Pikipek's not supposed to be able to learn Teleport. Found the hacker.

The three were teleported to a bus stop bench downtown right as Lincoln was walking by it. Biscuit was flying them in the air but quickly lost his grip. The two girls fell to the ground and landed on Lincoln.

Lincoln: OW!

Lincoln pushed them off of him and saw who it was.

Lincoln: Huh? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be waiting for me at the apartment?

Izzy: We were. But I think Sid did a whoopsie.

Lincoln: She peed her pants?

Sid: Yes. But that's not what she meant. There's no time to explain right now. We have to get out of plain sight first.

Lincoln: But why?

Sid: What did I just say? Now quick! Into that abandoned Mexican restaurant that you can tell used to be a Pizza Hut based on the shape of the roof.

Lincoln: If there's no time, why did you give a needlessly detailed description of that building instead of just pointing at it?

Sid: Oh, just get moving!

Sid pushed the others into the out of business restaurant and made sure to lock the door. She didn't think about how if the ghosts found them, they'd be able to get through the door anyway.

Sid: Before I explain what happened, I've got something to ask you. I see you're not in pajamas like you were when I called you. Why was getting dressed more important to you than saving everybody?

Lincoln: It's not. I just didn't want to run around in public in my pajamas. Getting dressed only takes me a couple of seconds.

Sid: Okay, if you say so. Anyway, here's what happened. I couldn't stand seeing Ronnie Anne being possessed anymore, so I started attacking her early. But it turned out the ghost wasn't actually in her after all.

Lincoln: You let your emotions get in the way of doing what was right? Don't you know you're not supposed to do that?

Sid: I know, I know. I just couldn't help myself.

Lincoln: It's okay. You're only human.

Sid rolled her eyes.

Lincoln: Where are the ghosts now?

Sid: Still at the apartment, hopefully. Except for the one who was in Ronnie Anne. He said he wanted to possess someone else, so if he's still there, there's gonna be yet another victim of this.

Lincoln: That's still true even if he leaves. He doesn't have to possess somebody who lives there.

Sid: Oh, you're right. We had better hurry 'cause he could possess somebody at any second. He tried to possess me pretty much immediately.

Lincoln: How'd you stop him?

Sid: Didn't need to. Not many people know this, but ghosts can't possess us.

Lincoln: ...What do you mean..."Us?"

Sid: Vampires.

Lincoln: ...You're kidding, right? Nobody would reveal something huge like that as casually as you did and not be kidding. You HAVE to be kidding because there's no such thing as vampires.

Sid: No, I'm not kidding. Everyone is my family is a vampire and always has been.

With gigantic eyes and teeny pupils, Lincoln slowly laid down on his stomach. With his face planted in the floor, he grabbed the back of his head and started shaking.

Lincoln: My life used to be normal! Why can't it still be?! It all went downhill when I met Anthony. He saved my life, so I shouldn't hate him, but I hate him SO MUCH! The original Lincoln's life is still normal! I'll bet his universe's version of you isn't a vampire.

As the distraught teenage boy continued having his existential crisis, the others rudely ignored him.

Sid: Could _you_ tell we were vampires?

Izzy: I wouldn't say I'm surprised, but your mom seemed more like a witch to me.

Sid: Yeah, she gets that a lot. But let's focus on what's important. Any ideas on how we can defeat the ghosts?

Izzy: If ghosts can't go in vampires' bodies, couldn't you just turn those people into vampires and the ghosts would come out?

Sid: I've already asked most of them if they'd want me to and they all said they wanna stay humans. Plus, biting a human when there's a ghost in them doesn't make the ghost come out. It...Let's just say it causes a bigger problem to happen.

Izzy: I see. But I also don't see. I also have another idea.

Izzy jumped over to Lincoln, bent down, and whispered him her idea. This made him stop freaking out and hold his head up.

Lincoln: ...What?! No! I am not doing that! How did you even know about it?

Izzy: I have my ways.

Lincoln: Either way, I still don't wanna do it. It's embarrassing. There's gotta be another way.

Izzy: Alright, Mr. Ghost Expert. What do you suggest we do?

Lincoln: I don't know! All I know is that I want my life to be normal again and your suggestion is not the way to do that.

Izzy: ...Look. You can either take the time of having a character arc about accepting how crazy the world you live in is, or you can accept it now so we can stop the ghosts sooner.

Lincoln: ...Fine.

Lincoln stood up and held his right hand in the air while yelling. A yellow flash of light surrounded him. When it cleared away, he was now wearing a purple long-sleeved shirt, a pink cape, and a cheese head. He was also holding a magic wand.

Lincoln: I am The Cheese _**FAIRY**_! I am the best character on the show! I am better than both the Salami Wizard and the Bologna Warlock COMBINED!

Sid: *gasp* YOU'RE the legendary Cheese Fairy?! I thought for sure you were just my friend's friend who was coincidentally the star of a stupid MTV show I happened to see one episode of. I can't believe Ronnie Anne never told me!

Lincoln: She didn't know. This is a new thing.

Sid: Well how did it happen?

Lincoln: Anthony decided for it to.

Sid: Oh, right. Duh. So what's the plan?

Izzy: ...Who said anything about there being a plan?

Lincoln: I'm gonna use my cheese magic to turn the ghosts into cheese. Then Lori and the others will just digest it and won't be possessed anymore.

Sid: I approve of that and want you to do it ASAP.

Lincoln: Let's get back to your place then.

Izzy: **Or**, we could open a restaurant called Tater Tater Tater and...

Lincoln: No!

Lincoln grabbed onto everyone else and waved his wand in the air.

Lincoln: Camembert!

That cheese magic word brought them all back to Sid's apartment building. Although, I guess I shouldn't say "all back" because Lincoln was never there. I mean, I'm sure he's been there before at least once, but he was never there in this fic. Wait. Was he? I don't really remember for sure at this point. Do you think me talking to you about this is 100% pointless and would prefer I just get on with it? Hey, I just realized if he has been there before, it was probably before Sid lived there, so technically, he's never been to "Sid's apartment building." Oh, wait. I just remembered the part earlier when he was at the apartment and he said "She means you made the promise a year ago." or whatever the line was. That means that this was, in fact, 100% pointless. I'm wasting your time by putting this here and I apologize for it.

They stood outside as they witnessed Ronnie Anne on a stretcher being loaded into the back of an ambulance. All the other residents of the building who weren't possessed by ghosts watched, wanting to know how this happened.

Sid: Holy Van Helsing, no!

Sid ran over to her aching friend and grabbed her hand.

Sid: Ronnie Anne, I am so sorry! I thought I was helping. I didn't mean to beat you so hard you'd have to go to the hospital.

Sid's mom: You did this?!

Sid's dad: Why would you ever?

Sid's sister: You've got some explaining to do.

Sid's mom: And you had better EXPLAIN IT ALL!

Sid: I'm sorry, but I can't right now. Come on, team! Let's get this done!

Biscuit, Izzy, Sid, and The Cheese Fairy ran inside and came face to face with the four ghosts. Ghosty McGhostface was still the only one not in somebody's body.

Ghosty McGhostface: You again! I may not be able to take your body for whatever reason, but I see two more people whose body I can take instead.

Lincoln: Yeah, no.

Lincoln held his wand in front of the ghosts.

Lincoln: Emmental Swiss American Pepper Jack Anthotyros!

That spell instantly turned all the ghosts into cheese. A large amount of cheese suddenly being inside of them made Lori, Bobby, and Bobby's mom whose name I still can't be bothered to look up faint.

Sid: Are you sure you got all four ghosts?

Lincoln: I think so.

Sid: So are Bobby, Mrs. Santiago, and your sister themselves again?

Lincoln: They should be.

Sid: Finally! I better go talk to my mom and dad now.

Sid ran outside to fill her parents in on what was going on.

Izzy: Why did they fall down?

Lincoln: Instantly having that much cheese in your stomach unexpectedly would make anybody faint. They're probably gonna be out for quite a while.

Izzy: Well, it sure is good the ghosts just happened to be in their stomachs.

Lincoln: ...Oh. We did not think this through. You just made me realize they probably _weren't_ in their stomachs. That means the cheese is just in some random part of their innards where cheese shouldn't be. Good thing there's an ambulance here.

Izzy: The ambulance probably left by now.

Lincoln: Didn't think that through either.

* * *

The following day, The Sid Gang (I guess that's what they're called? I don't really care.) visited the victims of ghost possession in the hospital.

Lori: Ohhhhh...Lincoln, what happened?

Izzy: You all got ghosts in your insides and then...

Lincoln: She was talking to me, you little pest. Is your name Lincoln?

Izzy: No, but there's no Lincoln here, so answering her question is fair game.

Lincoln: _I'm_ Lincoln.

Sid: Oh, right. THAT'S your name. I can't believe I forgot. When Ronnie Anne first told me about you, I remember getting scared.

Lori: Did she say we had ghosts inside of us?

Lincoln: Yes. That's why the Santiagos were acting like you were related to them. It was the ghosts pretending. It's also why the rest of our family didn't remember you. The ghosts wiped their memory because ghosts can apparently do that.

Sid: It's also why I was beatin' you up last night, Ronnie Anne. I was trying to get the ghost out of you. Again, I am SO sorry.

Ronnie Anne: ...Your hair is crooked.

Sid: ...I can see the doctors already medicated you.

Ronnie Anne: WHAT ARE THESE WORDS?!

Bobby: Lincoln, what are you gonna do about your family remembering Lori?

Lincoln: Already taken care of. I used my cheese magic to make some memory-restoring cheese, which they all ate. They won't even remember that they forgot her.

Bobby: That's good.

Lori: Since that's taken care of, there's something I need to...

Ronnie Anne: We can't! We have to find the KitchenAid fire hydrant second!

Lori: ...Me and Bobby were talking and...I'm moving in with him.

Lincoln: You are?!

Lori: Living with him the past two months felt right, even if he did think he was my brother, which I now know isn't actually what was happening.

Bobby: We've been dating for what feels like a lifetime. It's time.

Lincoln: ...I...If this is what you want.

Izzy: She's doing that thing in movies where she chooses her new life instead of...

Lincoln: Yeah, I already heard all about that.

Lincoln was speechless (Is it wrong to say that literally right after he said something?). Part of the reason he did all this was to get Lori back in his life. And yet now...

Izzy: This is great news!

Hey! Don't interrupt me. I was in the middle of...Oh, whatever.

Izzy: Now you have an extra bed in your house!

Lincoln froze. He slowly looked down at Izzy, mouth agape.

Lincoln: Why does that matter to you?!

Izzy: Oh. Because I was gonna ask you if I can live at your house.

Lincoln's mouth opened wider as he began to shake.

Lincoln: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lincoln pushed Izzy all the way back to his house as he continuously shouted "No!" When he made it home, everyone was conveniently in the living room except for Lillie and Lily.

Lincoln: No!

Izzy: That was a lot of "No's." Can I say a "Yes?"

Lincoln: No!

Lily & Lillie overheard Izzy's voice from upstairs and ran down to see if it was who they thought it was.

Lillie: Oh my god! IZZY!

Lincoln: You know her?

Lillie: She's on Total DramaRama. It's a show.

Lincoln: She's from a show?! Let me guess. It's a Cartoon Network show?

Lillie: It most definitely is not. It's a reality show on TBS. What's she doing here?

Lincoln: She, because she is completely crazy, thinks she can live with us. So please, for the love of Ace Savvy, everyone tell her she can't. PLEASE!

Everybody else looked at each other.

Lynn Sr.: ...Umm, Izzy, was it?

Izzy: Yes?

Lynn Sr.: Do you not already have a home?

Izzy: Oh, I do.

Lynn Sr.: Then don't you think your family would miss you?

Izzy: Not really. In fact, they'd probably like some time away from me.

Lynn Sr.: ...Well, we're gonna have to talk to them about this, but until then, I think this is a wonderful idea.

Lincoln: WHAT?!

Rita: Lynn, you can't be serious.

Lynn Sr.: I know exactly what you're thinking, but she's a reality TV star like us. Think of the crossover potential!

Lillie: And we wouldn't have to worry about copyright infringement because MTV and TBS don't own the rights to real people. We wouldn't have that luxury if we were in Anthony's universe, but we're not.

Lincoln: I'm sorry. What was that?!

Lillie: Oops. Well, so much for waiting to tell you. In Anthony's universe, Total DramaRama **IS** a Cartoon Network show.

Lincoln: That completely counts! She needs to get out of here this instant!

Lillie: Hey! Don't hurt the messenger.

Lincoln: Not you!

Lynn Sr.: I feel there's only one fair way to decide this. We should all vote.

Izzy: You're gonna vote on whether I get to stay or I have to go? That is totally dramatic!

And so, everyone who lived at the Loud house voted on whether or not Izzy got to live with them. Lincoln called Lori and Lynn Sr. called Lana so they could cast their votes too. Lana said they didn't need to let all of her Pokémon vote because she had so many, as long as her Salandit got to vote because his name is also Izzy.

Everyone's vote was either "Yes, she may live here." or "No. She has to pack up her knives and go."

**Charles - Yes**

**Cliff - Yes**

**Hops - Yes**

**Izzy the Salandit - No**

**Lana - Yes**

**Leni - Yes**

**Lillie - Yes**

**Lily - Yes**

**Lincoln - A big fat honkin' NO!**

**Lisa - No**

**Lola - No**

**Lori - Yes (It was Izzy's idea that defeated the ghosts. She deserves it.)**

**Luan - No**

**Lucy - No**

**Luna - Yes**

**Lynn Jr. - Yes**

**Lynn Sr. - Yes**

**Rita - No**

**Walt - No**

With a score off 11 to 8, Izzy won her right to live at the Loud house!

Izzy: So awesome! Time to check out my new room!

Izzy ran into the wall on the side of the doorway. On her second attempt, she was able to get into Leni's bedroom.

Leni: Yay! I'm not the only one in this house who does that anymore!

Izzy put the cage she was put in on Lori's bed, which is now Izzy's bed.

Lincoln: This isn't happening. This CAN'T BE happening!

Lillie: Oh, lighten up.

Lincoln: It's just that between this and Unikitty, I'm sick of Cartoon Network characters coming into my life. Can't I at least get a Nick character instead?

Izzy: Does my friend Jude count? He's been on both.

Lincoln: How is that possible?

Lillie: Look it up.

Lincoln: How long are you planning on staying here exactly?

Izzy: I don't know. I was thinking maybe until I get bored of it or I go to college or I die. Whichever comes first.

Lincoln: Okay. I could see you getting bored and wanting to go home pretty quickly.

Izzy: Oh. Did I say "first?" I meant "last."

Lincoln began to get tense.

Lincoln: ...No. No, I can do this. Just gotta keep my cool.

Lillie: Maybe you'll find out you're related to her and that will eventually lead to you welcoming her into your family. There was another person you did that to, but I'm blanking on her name. I think it was the same name as someone who already lives here.

Lillie was sarcastically talking about herself, but then she realized something about their new living companion.

Lillie: Oh, wait. So does Izzy!

Lincoln: NO! Stop it! I am not going to find out I'm related to her! Because I'm not!

Leni: Think about something else. Maybe that will make you feel better.

Lincoln: Good idea, sis. Thanks. Uhh...Hhm...Oh, I know. Did you know vampires don't actually have to bite someone on the neck to turn them into a vampire?

Lillie: Really?

Lincoln: Yeah, Ronnie Anne's friend said it can be anywhere on the body and she has no idea how that misconception started.

Catching a glance at Izzy made Lincoln's anger instantly return.

Lincoln: It's not working.

Lillie: You'll get used to this. Overtime, it won't feel as unnatural as it does now. The Loud House and Total DramaRama are actually similar in a lot of ways.

Lincoln: Like what?!

Lillie: They're both about a bunch of kids, the man who takes care of them is a Chef, Gwen and Lucy, there's an episode called Snow Way Out where someone named Leni gets trapped in the snow, From Badge to Worse is basically Friend or Faux?, and, the biggest similarity of all...

Izzy sat on the toilet in the bathroom and looked straight forward.

Izzy: You might be wanting me to tell you why I wanted to move here. My house was getting boring and old. I wanted something new. And if this place is as exciting as I've heard, then...

Lincoln slammed the bathroom door open.

Lincoln: This is the last straw! You do not get to talk to the audience! That is my thing and no one else is allowed to do it!

Izzy: On my show, literally everybody does it.

Lincoln: *groan*

Not only was Izzy taking Lori's spot in the house, but now she was saying her catchword.

Lincoln: You sound a lot like Unikitty. Do you have the same voice actor?

Izzy: That's just the thing. I don't!

**And now it's finally over.**


End file.
